Rev Christie Bates
1 min readJun 15, 2021

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I ran across an apology about an incident I was unfamiliar with just the other day, and it absolutely tracks with your description here. First the one apologizing spent a lot of time talking about herself, next she trivializes the harm that was caused by giving an example of how she made fun of the sex life of one of the middle-aged male celebrities in the audience, then she actually REPEATS the awful joke she made about a young adult woman, before then going on to describe how she immediately sent a message to apologize to that woman, who never got it. Maybe strangest of all is a common theme with most of these celebrity apologies, is that she goes on to talk about how much times have changed since then. But here’s the thing: it is not that what is hurtful toward other people has changed. It is that what people will pay for and tolerate has changed. So once again this speaker is pandering to the mood of the day. She may indeed feel bad about what she did to the younger woman, she may have felt bad even back then. I won’t claim to fully know her heart, although the only way we can really know someone’s heart is through their actions. But this argument around how times have changed really is irrelevant.

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Rev Christie Bates

Brainspotting Practitioner, Contemplative Therapist & Spiritual Director Dedicated to Seeing Clearly